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我的生活海伦·凯勒自传
The Story of My Life by Helen Keller

英文中文双语对照双语交替

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Chapter II

第二章

I cannot recall what happened during the first months after my illness. I only know that I sat in my mother's lap or clung to her dress as she went about her household duties. My hands felt every object and observed every motion, and in this way I learned to know many things. Soon I felt the need of some communication with others and began to make crude signs. A shake of the head meant "No" and a nod, "Yes," a pull meant "Come" and a push, "Go." Was it bread that I wanted? Then I would imitate the acts of cutting the slices and buttering them. If I wanted my mother to make ice-cream for dinner I made the sign for working the freezer and shivered, indicating cold. My mother, moreover, succeeded in making me understand a good deal. I always knew when she wished me to bring her something, and I would run upstairs or anywhere else she indicated. Indeed, I owe to her loving wisdom all that was bright and good in my long night.

在我生病之后的头一个月里发生了什么，我已经记不得了。我只知道我曾坐在母亲的腿上，或者在她做家务的时候紧紧地依附在她的衣服上。我的双手可以感知每一种物体的形状，也可以“观察”每一个移动的物体，正是通过这种方式，我了解了许多事情。后来，我觉得我需要同他人进行交流，于是我开始做出一些简单的举动。比如用摇头表示“不”，用点头表示“行”；往回拉的动作表示“回来”，向外推则表示“去”。如果我想吃面包怎么办？我会模仿切面包片，然后往上涂抹黄油的动作。假如我想让母亲在晚餐时做点冰激凌吃，我就会做出搅动和浑身颤抖的动作，这表示“冰凉”。此外，我的母亲也成功地让我领会了很多事情。当她想让我为她拿东西的时候，我马上就能理解，我会跑到楼上或者她告诉我的其他任何地方。事实上，在夤夜漫漫的生活中，我要感谢母亲用她富于智慧的无私之爱驱除掉我身边的黑暗，让我体会到生命的美好。

I understood a good deal of what was going on about me. At five I learned to fold and put away the clean clothes when they were brought in from the laundry, and I distinguished my own from the rest. I knew by the way my mother and aunt dressed when they were going out, and I invariably begged to go with them. I was always sent for when there was company, and when the guests took their leave, I waved my hand to them, I think with a vague remembrance of the meaning of the gesture. One day some gentlemen called on my mother, and I felt the shutting of the front door and other sounds that indicated their arrival. On a sudden thought I ran upstairs before any one could stop me, to put on my idea of a company dress. Standing before the mirror, as I had seen others do, I anointed mine head with oil and covered my face thickly with powder. Then I pinned a veil over my head so that it covered my face and fell in folds down to my shoulders, and tied an enormous bustle round my small waist, so that it dangled behind, almost meeting the hem of my skirt. Thus attired I went down to help entertain the company.

我明白我的未来所面临的巨大考验。在我五岁的时候，我学会了把干净的衣服叠好并且收起来，而且，在洗衣房送来的衣物中，我会辨别出哪些是自己的衣服。通过这种方式，我也顺便知道了母亲和姨妈会在什么时候外出。我总是央求她们带我一起去。家里有客人来的时候，我会主动打招呼；当他们走的时候，我会朝他们挥手道别。当然，关于那些手势的记忆是含混不清的。有一天，一些绅士邀请我母亲外出，我感觉到了大门关闭的震动和他们离去的声音。一个突如其来的念头令我跑上了楼，我穿上了外出的礼服，站在镜子前。就像其他人做的那样，我往自己的头上抹油，还往自己的脸上涂满厚厚的香粉。随后，我在头上别了一块面纱，于是我的脸和肩膀全都埋进了面纱的褶皱里。我还在腰间系了一个硕大的绳结，绳结悬垂在身后，几乎碰到了裙角。带着这身打扮，我会下楼逗众人开心。

I do not remember when I first realized that I was different from other people; but I knew it before my teacher came to me. I had noticed that my mother and my friends did not use signs as I did when they wanted anything done, but talked with their mouths. Sometimes I stood between two persons who were conversing and touched their lips. I could not understand, and was vexed. I moved my lips and gesticulated frantically without result. This made me so angry at times that I kicked and screamed until I was exhausted.

至于我第一次意识到自己同别人不同时的感受，我已经不记得了；但是在我的老师到来之前，我就知道自己与众不同。我注意到我的母亲和我的朋友们都不像我这样，她们在做事时不会使用手势，而是用嘴交谈就行了。有时候，我会站在两个谈话的大人之间，用手去摸他们的嘴唇。我无法理解，而且懊恼异常。于是，我试着移动自己的嘴唇，并且疯狂而徒劳地进行模仿。无奈的举动令我如此愤怒，我又踢又叫，直至筋疲力尽。

I think I knew when I was naughty, for I knew that it hurt Ella, my nurse, to kick her, and when my fit of temper was over I had a feeling akin to regret. But I cannot remember any instance in which this feeling prevented me from repeating the naughtiness when I failed to get what I wanted.

我想，那时候我知道自己的乖戾顽皮，因为我记得我伤害过我的保姆埃拉，我曾踢过她。狂暴过后，我就会生出几分懊悔，但是我不记得这种歉疚感有没有令我的胡闹收敛一些。

In those days a little coloured girl, Martha Washington, the child of our cook, and Belle, an old setter and a great hunter in her day, were my constant companions. Martha Washington understood my signs, and I seldom had any difficulty in making her do just as I wished. It pleased me to domineer over her, and she generally submitted to my tyranny rather than risk a hand-to-hand encounter. I was strong, active, indifferent to consequences. I knew my own mind well enough and always had my own way, even if I had to fight tooth and nail for it. We spent a great deal of time in the kitchen, kneading dough balls, helping make ice-cream, grinding coffee, quarreling over the cake-bowl, and feeding the hens and turkeys that swarmed about the kitchen steps. Many of them were so tame that they would eat from my hand and let me feel them. One big gobbler snatched a tomato from me one day and ran away with it. Inspired, perhaps, by Master Gobbler's success, we carried off to the woodpile a cake which the cook had just frosted, and ate every bit of it. I was quite ill afterward, and I wonder if retribution also overtook the turkey.

在早年的岁月，我有两个忠实的伙伴，那个打扮得花枝招展的小姑娘叫玛莎·华盛顿，她是我家厨师的孩子；还有贝拉，她是一只非常出色的老猎犬。玛莎·华盛顿明白我的手势，所以同她交流我很少遇到困难，她总是能够听命于我。在她面前发号施令让我感到高兴。在通常情况下，她总是迁就于我的蛮横和专制，而且不会冒险同我作正面冲突。我感受着自己的强大，进取，而并不在意后果如何。我十分清楚自己的念头，但总是一意孤行，我甚至会用牙齿和指甲相胁，以此来满足自己的要求。我们花了大量的时间在厨房里帮工，揉面团儿，做冰激凌，研磨咖啡豆，为烤制蛋糕争吵不休，给聚集在厨房台阶上的母鸡和火鸡喂食。这些家禽都很温顺，它们会从我手里取食，从而让我感受到它们的存在。有一天，一只硕大的雄火鸡从我手里叼走了一个番茄，然后迅速跑掉了。当时，或许是受到了“高博勒先生”成功经验的鼓舞，我们赢得了一个蛋糕，厨子刚刚在上面撒了一层糖霜，蛋糕被我们一点一点地吃掉了。后来我生了一场大病，我不知道这是不是因为追赶火鸡而遭受的报应。

The guinea-fowl likes to hide her nest in out-of-the-way places, and it was one of my greatest delights to hunt for the eggs in the long grass. I could not tell Martha Washington when I wanted to go egg-hunting, but I would double my hands and put them on the ground, which meant something round in the grass, and Martha always understood. When we were fortunate enough to find a nest I never allowed her to carry the eggs home, making her understand by emphatic signs that she might fall and break them.

珍珠鸡喜欢把巢藏匿在偏僻角落里，我最大的快乐之一就是搜寻草窝里的鸡蛋。我找鸡蛋的时候无法直接对玛莎·华盛顿说，我会攥起拳头，再把它们放在草地上，这表示有什么东西在草地上滚动，而玛莎总能领会我的意图。运气好的话，我们就会找到一个鸡窝，可是我从来不会让玛莎把鸡蛋带回家，我会做出强烈的手势让她明白，她应该把鸡蛋扔在地上打碎。

The sheds where the corn was stored, the stable where the horses were kept, and the yard where the cows were milked morning and evening were unfailing sources of interest to Martha and me. The milkers would let me keep my hands on the cows while they milked, and I often got well switched by the cow for my curiosity.

像谷仓，马厩，还有每天早晚给奶牛挤奶的庭院都是我和玛莎最感兴趣的地方。挤奶工给牛挤奶的时候会让我把两手放在牛身上。为了满足自己的好奇心，我经常对牛又拧又掐。

The making ready for Christmas was always a delight to me. Of course I did not know what it was all about, but I enjoyed the pleasant odours that filled the house and the tidbits that were given to Martha Washington and me to keep us quiet. We were sadly in the way, but that did not interfere with our pleasure in the least. They allowed us to grind the spices, pick over the raisins and lick the stirring spoons. I hung my stocking because the others did; I cannot remember, however, that the ceremony interested me especially, nor did my curiosity cause me to wake before daylight to look for my gifts.

为圣诞节做准备总会令我欢欣鼓舞。当然，我并不知道这是一个什么样的节日，但是弥漫在房子里的香味令我陶醉其中，而花样繁多的美食也会让我和玛莎·华盛顿安静下来。我们俩也会有不顺心的时候，但是这丝毫也不妨碍我们享受节日的快乐。大人们会允许我们俩帮他们研磨香料，挑拣葡萄干，或者用勺子搅拌馅料。我也像其他人那样把自己的长袜挂起来，虽然不知道为什么这么做，可是这种仪式令我兴味盎然。这倒不是为了好奇，而是因为一觉醒来，我就可以在袜子里找到礼物。

Martha Washington had as great a love of mischief as I. Two little children were seated on the veranda steps one hot July afternoon. One was black as ebony, with little bunches of fuzzy hair tied with shoestrings sticking out all over her head like corkscrews. The other was white, with long golden curls. One child was six years old, the other two or three years older. The younger child was blind--that was I--and the other was Martha Washington. We were busy cutting out paper dolls; but we soon wearied of this amusement, and after cutting up our shoestrings and clipping all the leaves off the honeysuckle that were within reach, I turned my attention to Martha's corkscrews. She objected at first, but finally submitted. Thinking that turn and turn about is fair play, she seized the scissors and cut off one of my curls, and would have cut them all off but for my mother's timely interference.

玛莎·华盛顿同我一样喜欢搞恶作剧。记得那年7月一个炎热的午后，有两个小孩儿坐在走廊的台阶上，一个是黑人小姑娘，梳着一束束俏皮的像螺丝锥一样的头发；另一个是白人小姑娘，有着一头长长的金色鬈发。其中一个孩子六岁，另一个只有两岁或三岁大。那个年幼的小孩是个盲童——这个孩子就是我——另一个孩子是玛莎·华盛顿。当时我们俩正埋头剪纸娃娃玩儿，可是没多久我们就厌倦了这个游戏，于是，我们俩又开始剪树叶，我们把能够到的金银花叶子都剪了下来。接着，我开始把注意力转到玛莎那像螺丝锥的头发上，起初她反对我打她头发的主意，但最终还是屈服了。就这样，我们俩轮流玩起了公平的游戏，她抓过剪刀剪掉我的一束鬈发。我想，要不是妈妈及时制止，她一定会把我的头发都剪光的。

Belle, our dog, my other companion, was old and lazy and liked to sleep by the open fire rather than to romp with me. I tried hard to teach her my sign language, but she was dull and inattentive. She sometimes started and quivered with excitement, then she became perfectly rigid, as dogs do when they point a bird. I did not then know why Belle acted in this way; but I knew she was not doing as I wished. This vexed me and the lesson always ended in a one-sided boxing match. Belle would get up, stretch herself lazily, give one or two contemptuous sniffs, go to the opposite side of the hearth and lie down again, and I, wearied and disappointed, went off in search of Martha.

贝拉是我们家的狗，也是我的另一个伙伴，她又老又懒，喜欢在壁炉旁睡觉，而不太愿意同我玩耍。于是我努力教她我的“手势语言”，但是她总是反应迟钝，心不在焉。有时候，她会兴奋得浑身颤抖，变得跃跃欲试，就像狗儿们将目标锁定在一只鸟时所做的那样。我并不知道贝拉为什么会有如此表现，但是我知道她肯定没有按照我的要求去做。这令我十分懊恼，所以，我的训练课总是以对贝拉一通乱捶作为结束。而贝拉则会爬起来伸伸懒腰，然后轻蔑地打一两个响鼻儿，再跑到壁炉的另一边就地一躺。为此，我感到既无奈又失望，最后我只有丢下贝拉去找玛莎玩。

Many incidents of those early years are fixed in my memory, isolated, but clear and distinct, making the sense of that silent, aimless, dayless life all the more intense.

早年的很多事情都被我牢牢地记在心里，虽然互不相干，但是它们是如此清晰，宛如历历在目，它们加剧了我对沉寂、无助而迷惘的生活的思考。

One day I happened to spill water on my apron, and I spread it out to dry before the fire which was flickering on the sitting-room hearth. The apron did not dry quickly enough to suit me, so I drew nearer and threw it right over the hot ashes. The fire leaped into life; the flames encircled me so that in a moment my clothes were blazing. I made a terrified noise that brought Viny, my old nurse, to the rescue. Throwing a blanket over me, she almost suffocated me, but she put out the fire. Except for my hands and hair I was not badly burned.

记得有一天，我不小心把围裙弄湿了，于是，我把围裙铺在客厅的壁炉边烘烤。湿围裙不会那么快就被烤干的，所以我就让它离火源更近一些，结果正好碰到了余烬。围裙一下子烧着了，火苗围绕在我身边，甚至连我的衣服都被引燃了。我惊慌失措的吵闹惊动了我的老保姆维妮，她急忙跑过来救我。维妮把一条毯子盖在我身上，我给憋得几近窒息，不过她还是把火给扑灭了。所以除了双手和头发被烧了一下外，我并无大碍。

About this time I found out the use of a key. One morning I locked my mother up in the pantry, where she was obliged to remain three hours, as the servants were in a detached part of the house. She kept pounding on the door, while I sat outside on the porch steps and laughed with glee as I felt the jar of the pounding. This most naughty prank of mine convinced my parents that I must be taught as soon as possible. After my teacher, Miss Sullivan, came to me, I sought an early opportunity to lock her in her room. I went upstairs with something which my mother made me understand I was to give to Miss Sullivan; but no sooner had I given it to her than I slammed the door to, locked it, and hid the key under the wardrobe in the hall. I could not be induced to tell where the key was. My father was obliged to get a ladder and take Miss Sullivan out through the window--much to my delight. Months after I produced the key.

就是在那个时候，我发现自己会使用钥匙了。一天早晨，我把母亲锁在了储藏室里，她被迫在里面待了三个小时，因为那时仆人们都出去干活了。母亲不停地敲打房门，我能感觉到敲击房门的震动声，可我却坐在走廊的台阶上咯咯地笑。这类令人头疼的恶作剧使我的父母意识到，我必须尽快接受教育。记得在我的老师苏立文小姐到来后，我还找了一个机会把她锁在了自己房间里。当时母亲领我上楼去见苏立文小姐，她想让我明白她要把我交给老师。可是没多久我就砰地一下把门关上，而且还上了锁。然后，我又把钥匙藏在了走廊里的衣橱里。家人并没有哄我交出钥匙。结果，我的父亲只得搬了一把梯子，把苏立文小姐从窗口接了出来。这出小把戏让我高兴了好一阵儿。几个月之后我才交出了钥匙。

When I was about five years old we moved from the little vine-covered house to a large new one. The family consisted of my father and mother, two older half-brothers, and, afterward, a little sister, Mildred. My earliest distinct recollection of my father is making my way through great drifts of newspapers to his side and finding him alone, holding a sheet of paper before his face. I was greatly puzzled to know what he was doing. I imitated this action, even wearing his spectacles, thinking they might help solve the mystery. But I did not find out the secret for several years. Then I learned what those papers were, and that my father edited one of them.

在我五岁大的时候，我们从藤萝覆盖的小房子搬到了一个新建的大房子里。这个家庭由我的父母，两个同父异母的哥哥，还有后来出生的小妹妹米尔德莱德组成。我最早而且印象最深的有关父亲的记忆，就是我摇摇晃晃地穿过一堆堆的报纸来到他身边，这时我就会发现他总是独自拿着一沓报纸摆在面前。我会感到极其迷惑，很想知道他在做什么。我也会模仿他的动作，甚至戴上了他的眼镜，因为我想眼镜或许能帮我解开未知的秘密。但是若干年过去了，我没有发现什么秘密。后来我才了解到那些报纸的来历——我的父亲是在对文章进行编辑校对。

My father was most loving and indulgent, devoted to his home, seldom leaving us, except in the hunting season. He was a great hunter, I have been told, and a celebrated shot. Next to his family he loved his dogs and gun. His hospitality was great, almost to a fault, and he seldom came home without bringing a guest. His special pride was the big garden where, it was said, he raised the finest watermelons and strawberries in the county; and to me he brought the first ripe grapes and the choicest berries. I remember his caressing touch as he led me from tree to tree, from vine to vine, and his eager delight in whatever pleased me.

我的父亲是那种极其眷顾家庭的人，除了狩猎季节，他很少离开我们。他是一个出色的猎人，有着一手好枪法。在家庭之外，他最爱他的狗和猎枪。另外，他还是一个极其好客的人，这几乎成了他的一个性格弱点，他很少有不带客人回家的时候。他最引以为豪的地方就是我们家的大花园，据说，他培育的西瓜和草莓是全县最好的，我还记得他把最先成熟的葡萄和精选的浆果摘给我吃。他充满慈爱地领着我在果树和藤萝之间穿行，他积极乐观的情绪时刻感染着我。

He was a famous story-teller; after I had acquired language he used to spell clumsily into my hand his cleverest anecdotes, and nothing pleased him more than to have me repeat them at an opportune moment.

父亲是一个很会讲故事的人，在我掌握了语言以后，他常常会笨拙地在我手上拼写字词，并以此来讲述他的那些奇闻逸事。在“讲完”故事后，他会让我马上“复述”出来，再也没有什么比重复故事更令他高兴的事了。

I was in the North, enjoying the last beautiful days of the summer of 1896, when I heard the news of my father's death. He had had a short illness, there had been a brief time of acute suffering, then all was over. This was my first great sorrow--my first personal experience with death.

1896年，当时我住在北方，正惬意地享受着夏日最后的时光，就是在那个时候，我听到了父亲的死讯。他死于一次突发疾病，经历了短暂的痛苦后，人就这么离去了。父亲的死亡是我人生中第一次感受到的巨大悲恸——也使我第一次对死亡有了自己的认识。

How shall I write of my mother? She is so near to me that it almost seems indelicate to speak of her.

我又如何描述我的母亲呢？她离我是那么近，对我而言，用语言来描述她是近乎失礼的举动。

For a long time I regarded my little sister as an intruder. I knew that I had ceased to be my mother's only darling, and the thought filled me with jealousy. She sat in my mother's lap constantly, where I used to sit, and seemed to take up all her care and time. One day something happened which seemed to me to be adding insult to injury.

有很长一段时间，我都把我的小妹妹视做一个入侵者。当时，我知道我已经不再是母亲唯一的宝贝，我的心里充满了嫉妒。妹妹总是坐在母亲的膝盖上，那里本是我坐的位置，而现在却被她完全占领了，她受到了所有的呵护与关爱。有一天，发生了一件不愉快的事情，那件事使我觉得受到了莫大的侮辱。

At that time I had a much-petted, much-abused doll, which I afterward named Nancy. She was, alas, the helpless victim of my outbursts of temper and of affection, so that she became much the worse for wear. I had dolls which talked, and cried, and opened and shut their eyes; yet I never loved one of them as I loved poor Nancy. She had a cradle, and I often spent an hour or more rocking her. I guarded both doll and cradle with the most jealous care; but once I discovered my little sister sleeping peacefully in the cradle. At this presumption on the part of one to whom as yet no tie of love bound me I grew angry. I rushed upon the cradle and over-turned it, and the baby might have been killed had my mother not caught her as she fell. Thus it is that when we walk in the valley of twofold solitude we know little of the tender affections that grow out of endearing words and actions and companionship. But afterward, when I was restored to my human heritage, Mildred and I grew into each other's hearts, so that we were content to go hand-in-hand wherever caprice led us, although she could not understand my finger language, nor I her childish prattle.

那时我有一个成天抱在手里，既宠又恨的洋娃娃，后来我给她起名叫南希。唉，实际上，这个娃娃只是供我发脾气的牺牲品，所以，她总是一副破衣烂衫的样子。我有会说话的洋娃娃，也有会哭和会眨眼睛的洋娃娃，但是我从来都不会像爱我的破南希那样爱她们。南希有一个摇篮，我经常花一个小时甚至更多的时间把她放在摇篮里摇动。我无比关切地守护着娃娃和她的摇篮。但是有一次，我发现我的小妹妹安静地躺在摇篮里熟睡。现在只能做出这样的推测，那时根本就没有爱和亲情的纽带能束缚住我的愤怒。于是，我冲过去把摇篮翻了个个儿，要不是母亲上前抓住了她，妹妹也许会被我杀死。所以说，当我们行走在备感孤独的幽谷之中，我们才会逐渐了解到充满关爱的言行以及友情所带给我们的感动。后来，当我重新恢复了人类友爱的本性后，我和米尔德莱德已经成长为彼此交心的姊妹。无论世事如何变化，我们俩都愿意手拉手地面对眼前的一切，虽然她不懂我的手语，而我也不明白她那些孩子气的语言。